its not that i dont care about anything, its that everything is stored , because i cannot waste energy in trying to revive something that here would just die.
i became a stone so that nothing could hit me or change me.
i want to leave already. i cant take it.
i knew it would be hard, but the truth is – it isnt. it is simple. what makes it hard, is the fact that there are NO humans – or the ones that appear out of their shells re Completely crazed out and with some Seeerious mental problems. No people who carry the fire, the little flame, no people with Passion and dreams and love… this has always depressed me…
i want to go back home.
ok, ill live until the 20th. 29 more days…both kely and stefan keep telling me every day, theres one day less until we’re together…
i wont let it beat me. this is it, every minute i keep teling myself “im stonger than it”
i can almsot compare it to the mysterioues “emptyness” in the Russian science fiction novel by the brothers Strugazki…
goodbye wicked little town. you are not my reality, i shall erase you from my memory and my mind. you are erased, always been, always will be. i know that this is the last time im here. i will leave in January, and this time Never come back, never. i know it, there will be nothing here aymore, nothing will be left. absolutely every single person that i care about here, will be gone. they all walk away from Omelas. And i know why. I walk away too.
~Bani
