Ochite ti
Ochite ti poglejdat moite tujno.
Izbqgal pogled ot miluvka topla.
Sheptiat obicham te bezmulvno,nejno.
Kreshtqt “ela, vurni se!” v murtuv vopul.
Ochite ti me gledat i revat.
Kakvo se sluchi, ti kude si ?
Onezi chuvstva v dvama ni gorat.
Ni dumi, ni putishta slovesni,
Mogat mostovete tui dalechni da doprat.
Az vijdam samo tiah -
Ochite ti lubovni.
Ne se uchudvai-togava az umriah.
Tiho stekoha se dnite tui dujdovni.
Ochite ti izpivat me nadejdno.
Tova li be poslednata ni sreshta?
Nedei se luga- otmini me smelo i nebrejno.
Kapchiza sama otlitna, mokra i goreshta.
-Bani (4/25/07)
I started writting a letter to you the other day, but something distracted me and I didn’t finish. It went like this: “Boluda it was so good seeing you today… I just wish we had more time to talk…i hadnt seen u in FIVE days (jaja), and well, those 5 days were so amazingly crazy, im talking very sreiously, in any way u look at them, so much happened… as if ive gone to oxbow and just come back, even more powerful, and it has nothing to do with the competition of course…so when i saw u today, it was “the landing”, aww. Maybe…” and i stopped.
I think I don’t need to explain it – you know. They are useless, words I mean. What you heard, and what she told you, was true – but you still think that’s “normal”…Maybe it is. I’m glad you accepted it ( you didnt say it, but it was just in your eyes, like in the poem above – andit isnt for you BY THE WAY)…I think it was going to be truly so so hard to explain it, although I always had the feeling that you knew- you had seen me, and you had observed, you knew the whole time – yet, you never said anything, not to bother me…I sounded like a retard on the phone last night, and then I didn’t call back…but you know what – you know why, we both know…i didnt call back cos’ half way through, i started crying and was about to hang up on you when the connection started falloing apart…
You know what i just thought about – it sounds like I’m bout to say something like “I’M A LESBIAN!!” hahahahahhaha… sorry, just got this idea that if you were to read this without having any idea what im talking about, you can easily think of that….k, enough poetry and words and wasting time that does not exist anyways…chau paoli.
P.S.: look what a real man said :
I am but a baby, posing poorly as a man.
I am not nearly as smart as I think I am.
PPS: and then he finished with :
The memory bleeds, straining to recall
The lisps and wisps before they met their dying fall,
Drowned by the silent throng, awash in insignificance.
I would never dream of inconveniencing…
I was only just wondering…
May I have this dance?
~Banita
